What I really mean by staying afloat is keeping a clear mindset. It is true that it does take two to tango, however the only one who can truly keep you happy is YOURSELF! This is not the time to lose yourself to your emotions. Keeping calm and being patient, as hard as those two things are [especially in combination] are the two things that will get you through without excessive panic attacks, anxiety or worry. Keep focused on staying happy; constantly remind yourself what makes you happy. If you and that person are wrong for each other, time will tell. If you two are meant to be together, time will tell. I was talking with a friend the other day, who I actually think is quite wise, and her and I agreed that the best thing to do is live in the moment. Keep your brain inside your skull & your heart in your chest. Everything will work out.
So, you've met someone new? They seem to be everything you want so far? They're making you open your heart just a little bit? Making you sweat at just the thought of them? HOLD UP HOT STUFF! Stay focused here! There's no need to rush anything; no need to get caught up in your emotions. Did you know that your body first thinks with its sexual appetite? Really getting to know someone takes at least a month to two months. It is not wrong, however, to start to question whether you could see yourself with that person or not. Over time, even from the beginning, you will be putting them together like a puzzle - to see if their pieces can fit in with yours. You cannot rush the other person to come to conclusions as fast as you or slower than you though; you simply have to wait. There is no harm in asking questions when you feel you want to or need to. You will notice things that will make you wonder what that person really thinks and you know that their answer will determine some things for you - and it is fine to wonder and to bring it up. As always, though, there are ways to phrase things so that you don't seem overwhelming. After a while you should get to learn how to communicate with them to get what you need, but for the beginning you'll have to start off easy. Take in more observations than anything.
Keep your head in check, too. Without a title they are free reign, so don't expect them to commit right away. One night of sex does not mean ownership - but don't we all wish it would some times ;c). Just because things seem fantastic doesn't mean it's time to run out and grab that UHaul. She may be one foxy lady that seems to have incredible intelligence or he may seem really successful, charming and handsome but rushing things will gyp you of potentially having a phenomenal relationship because you may scare the other away and/or gyp yourself of simply enjoying the company of something wonderful coming into your life (for however long he or she may be in it for).
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself. Don't get me wrong: don't stand for bullshit - but until there is any stay for as long as you feel comfortable, as long as you feel happy, and as long as you feel content.
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For those on the other end of the spectrum: the discussion of potential break up, time apart, the breaking up, the anger, the loss of identity, the shattered inner half, thought of things going sour - CHIN UP! CHIN UP! CHIN UP!! & Stay Calm! You cannot act too quickly and you cannot get irrational or lose your mind. Sit down and think about what is really going on with your situation. You should discuss how you're feeling with your partner, however don't pose anything as a break up unless you know for sure that's what you want. Words do make an impact on the other person, so choose them wisely. But if you want to try and make things work then make sure that is something that you state followed by what you feel needs to be worked on. Something to consider as well is that you didn't date him or her because you were on a whim (9/10 anyhow) and they were something worth sticking around for for a little while at least - therefore you don't want to just make a snap decision. By snap decision I mean a decision that wasn't well thought out.
If you feel things are ending and you have no control over them - you've both discussed things and are taking time to think about them - just relax. You cannot make your pieces fit together if they just don't fit together. And if they're going to fit, they will fit once you are able to find peace at mind and peace at heart. Calm down and work on yourself for a minute. FINALLY! you have a minute to love only yourself and give yourself what you feel you have been missing (and if you haven't been missing anything than some down time for yourself is never a bad thing anyway). By all means if you feel you have something to fight for, fight for it! You do not want to live with the "what if's" or "what could have beens" because you'll drive yourself crazy months down the line when you feel you've made a mistake. Maybe he or she doesn't know exactly how you feel (even if you think you've said it a billion times) and you just need to say it once more - DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING OUT! It may be the last time you have to talk about it.
If you've just gotten out of a relationship and are feeling lost well, NEWS FLASH You are not any less of who you are without that person. Stay afloat and keep it together. Everything happens for a reason, we all hear that and we all say that but sometimes it's hard to believe it - I know. But there will be another. Keep yourself afloat with your friends, movies, writing, music, dancing, or whatever your busy habits may be. Of course you'll lose sleep and not feel as functional, but staying afloat and as happy as possible at a point in your life where happiness seems impossible is extremely important. You were beautiful before he or she entered your life, and watching them go isn't easy but who wants to pretend to be happy or be the only happy one involved? HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY is the key word here. You need to stay above it all. Pain is inevitable, but be above the pain. Keep yourself reminded of why you deserve to be happy (and deserve to have someone who is happy with you so you can feel happy with them; and who can make you happy and who you are happy with). Dealing with the anger or disappointments is frustrating, grueling and unappreciated - but it is reality unfortunately. You are certainly allowed to think whatever you wish to think, just be cautious of your actions.
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Keeping yourself afloat, whether you're trying to stay grounded while a new lover twirls your heart high into the mountains or you're reaching for a life raft to keep yourself from sinking you need to always, always (ALWAYS) keep in mind that you should always be your first priority in matters of the heart.
You are the only one who knows how to make yourself happy and there will be those who are able to keep you happy too, but at the end of the day you are the only judge as to how happy you want to be, need to be, and are.
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