Biggest Contribution to a Relationship

YOURSELF!!!

Knowing who you are and what you want is your true contribution to the relationship. Without that, it is hard to know what to fight for when things get rough or questionable. When two people enter a relationship, there is of course a sexual chemistry of sorts, but beyond that is the existence of who completely separate human beings whom choose to function in a unit as one. The functioning together is not always as easy as it seems. There are, in fact, quite a bit of outside contributing factors as well. More specifically, factors that you may not always have a say in. Such as, your partner may need to take a business trip for multiple weeks at a time, which may hinder your relationship with him or her, and you cannot control what they need to do for work [or what they need to do for their own personal growth as an independent, self-functioning energy on earth]. So then there would need to be communication about how to be a unit of one, but apart for periods of time. Therefore, if you are completely secure and knowing of what you want out of a partner (and out of yourself), you should be able to decide: a) if this is the type of relationship you can have (be happy in) and b) if the ability to problem solve is efficient or not efficient (further helping you decide if it is a functional relationship for you, or not).

From the beginning, even, when you first start to like someone and you are not exactly sure if they fit all of your criteria. Consider this:
Do you have criteria?
Do you know what you bring to the relationship?
Can you list the qualities you like about yourself (particularly when in relationships)?
What qualities about a partner would you like most?

KNOWING, and always being aware of, what you contribute saves you a whole lot of time.

Now, emotions are very tricky. So don't get me wrong in thinking that rationalizing every problematic situation you are in, that is romantically/sexually entangled, is a piece of cake. But you should most certainly try and understand/be clear with where you stand in regards to your morals, values, ideas for the future, enjoyable characteristics of yourself, needs & must haves, etc. All of what makes you, you. Because then, if someone whom you are seeing/dating/married to isn't fitting your criteria, you can speak to him or her about it and/or leave the situation if you feel it necessary. But you will feel more confident in your decisions.

If butting heads, having non-constructive conversations, feeling hurt and getting annoyed is a frequent occurrence, reevaluate the needs for yourself. We do, actually, have a relationship with ourselves. We are the only people who can take care of ourselves better than anyone because are with ourselves 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you are not happy you need to voice that. Yes, it may be easier to try and just let the problem sweep itself under a carpet so you don't have to face it until you trip over it later...but life is short already, isn't it? Why waste more time? You'll have to deal with it eventually. YOU hold the power to your voice; to releasing the thoughts in your head and heart. (Refer to blog about Mind Readers). As a present energy in the universe, standing up for yourself, loving yourself, and respecting yourself is essential. No one has the power to make you unhappy, for at any given time you can remove yourself from a situation (be it to another room to cool down or breaking up with him/her).

Whether you are trying to decide if you want to commit to someone, figuring out how to approach a problematic situation, contemplating leaving a relationship or taking time to be single & discover self - it is important to know that the biggest contribution you have to a relationship is YOURSELF! That takes knowing yourself, loving yourself, and actively being aware of what you contribute.