Can you recall ever being upset with your partner and saying things you didn't mean to say? Can you recall wishing you had said or done something you didn't do or say? Can you recall ever saying, "this was perfect timing" or "I'm glad I hung in"?
Emotions can create so many different outcomes in a relationship that it is important to consider your priorities when feeling a bit jumbled. Trying to remember that taking a second to process incoming information from a confusing situation is difficult, BUT essential when attempting to make the most rationale decision possible. It is also difficult, yet essential, to remember not to be completely selfish when choosing what to do or say. This also pertains to other people around you, and how you affect them because of emotional distress.
If you are in a relationship where you feel that communication is not working and your emotional levels are similar to riding on a roller-coaster, you are in a relationship that is unhealthy. This does not mean that you need to pack your bags and run for the hills, or spark a huge fire and leave town - however, it does mean that you need to reevaluate your tactics on how to handle emotionally-fused impulses. Make sure that what you do and what you say will not leave you feeling regretful, nor hurt your partner. When communicating make your feelings known, consider what the other person has to say (which means you CANNOT listen defensively -- which further means you have to LISTEN and figure out your rebuttal once your partner is done), consider how that person may feel so that your delivery is as easily heard as possible, and stand your ground on what you feel is important.
If your relationship is affecting others, you'll need to prioritize. Yes, emotions and your partner are important aspects of your life. However, you need to consider a whole slew of factors when dealing with the effects in outside relationships. Support systems are important, so if those relationships are being jeopardized - decide which is most important at the time, but not everyone is meant to be a partner just like not everyone is meant to be a friend. If there is to be a loss, which is greater?
If you are in a relationship where you're not 100% satisfied, you need to prioritize what is important to you, how important it is to you, and how important it is to your partner. There is an ability to make compromises and sacrifices that are accommodating to both parties, which will heighten the level of satisfaction. It is impossible for a person to be 100% satisfied 24 hours 7 days a week, but it is possible for a person to know how to achieve that satisfaction: whether it be through communication, sacrifice, compromise or a general understanding to agree to disagree. If there is an undying urge for something to be satisfied, and you cannot figure out a way to feel satisfied enough to continue the relationship, then you should take you and your partner's feelings and part. It is not fair to stay with someone if you are unhappy, they will only be living in a false reality at that point.
If you feel your partner is highly reactive, and you are not, discussion of when you feel they are most often reactive and how you feel when they are would be appropriate. Bringing to attention something that is bothersome to you is prioritizing what you want to be feeling (or not be feeling). In addition, a helpful way to present your feelings, without making your partner feel as if their feelings are not priority, would be to state how much you care and adore him/her, then state the issue of being highly emotionally reactive (or whatever the issue is), provide an example of when it happened, describe how it affects you, and provide a potential solution to avoid situations of the like in the future.
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Regardless of what kind of relationship you are dealing with: highly emotional, friendship disturbing, dissatisfying or satisfying, and so forth - PRIORITIZE! Prioritize your feelings, your partner's/friend's feelings, your needs, their needs, and the importance it all BEFORE reacting. You have to keep in mind that when emotions come into play, particularly ones that create urges of impulse within you, rationalizing is very difficult to do - but NECESSARY! Take your time; words and actions make a long-lasting impact.
You don't want to hurt yourself or be hurting. You don't want to hurt your partner or have your partner hurting. You don't want your support systems in jeopardy.
Prioritize. Make as well thought out of a decision (in words and actions) as possible. And always communicate!
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