You're In Charge of YOURSELF!

DON'T GET TRAMPLED ON!!

If you are dating someone who you feel is taking advantage of you, not listening to you, not respecting you or downright mistreating you - you need to stop them. It takes two to tango, if you're constantly giving all yourself to him or her then what are you giving to you? NOTHING! At the end of the day, when you close your eyes, all you have is you, yourself, and you. You shouldn't let other's mistreat you just like you shouldn't be mistreating yourself.

It's difficult when confronted with having to walk away from someone whom you may love and care a lot for, but if they are make you feel sad or confused or anything with a negative connotation then you should really reevaluate what's going on with you two. My first piece of advice would be to write down all of the things that make you feel the way you do. Then I would take a day (at least) to figure out how to say what it is you need to say to your partner to get the results you need. Words do hurt so make sure you're calm while talking with your partner. When you do discuss things, don't say anything you cannot stick by. If you say you need space then take your space, don't just claim space and then going running to him or her. That will only confuse them and inevitably confuse yourself. ALSO - don't say anything that is only to test that person. So if you say you want space but you are really testing him or her to see how long it takes for them to come begging for you, you're playing games and NO ONE likes games.

You can't just walk away from a situation without saying anything. Ignoring them is prolonging the issue. If you're choosing to stay with him or her I would start by saying what the good things are that you have between you and then delve into what you feel you need changed. You don't want to seem as if you are pinning that person to a wall, but more that you care very much for them and want things to work. If they continue to mistreat you, confuse you or not respect you then you should really take time for yourself. I'm not saying to break up with them, but to stop seeing him or her until you feel your head isn't clouded. A lot of times it is harder to see inside the box when you are standing in it; you really need to step back and see what is truly going on. You have to stand up for yourself! Allowing yourself to get stepped on and mishandled is wasting your time and damaging your heart. If you're going to break up with them (or something of that nature) then you need to give clear reasons why and stick to them. If you just want a break, state that; if you want to fully break up, state that. Whatever it is you want you really should make it clear and understandable.

If you are comfortable with the change that happens once you've said what you need to, even if it takes a little time for everything to get fixed (because it is certain that nothing happens over night) then I would stick with him or her until given another reason/drop of tolerance happens.

Everything is a matter of tolerance - don't neglect your gut! If you have to think twice, EVEN IF YOU ONLY HAVE TO THINK TWICE, then something is up. Again, it is very hard to let go of someone for fear of losing them. But what if you are losing yourself? What if after all is said and done, after you've strained yourself to the thinnest, after you've cried every last tear drop your eyes can produce - you still don't have him or her? and now you've given up so much of your time and energy for what? to lose yourself to someone you didnt even end up with?! It's better if you are to step away, collect yourself, and re-enter the relationship with a clear perspective on how to keep YOURSELF happy and keep the relationship happy. Don't let yourself slip into the life of someone else - YOU ARE A SOMEONE TOO!! You should always be in charge of you. You have to communicate what you're feeling to him or her (positive or negative), but you certainly shouldn't be unhappy.

Cloudiness will get you into trouble. Trouble causes heartache. And heartache never feels good. Keep open communication with your partner, especially if you think they are worth it. Only say what you intend on sticking with, the more rules you line up and don't follow the more they will walk all over you. DEMAND RESPECT! For everyone deserves that and should never go a minute, an hour or a day without it!! You need to love yourself first, and everyone else next. That doesn't mean be selfish and treat your partner like crap just because you feel they're treating you that way, but it does mean that you shouldn't stand for any maltreatment!

Love yourself; you're the only person who truly knows how to! <3