I bring this up because many of us, when caught up in love or lust or interest in another person, we somehow forget to remember that they can't read our minds (new relationships to long-term relationships). Oh, or what we meant by the tone of our voice or how we spoke period...or didn't speak on purpose. Then sometimes we get hurt or confused over what's going on. Well, you're in luck, I've found the solution!!
COMMUNICATION!!!
Let's say you're in a fight with the person you're seeing. You may be mad, or sad, or done with him/her, or sorry or indifferent. But if you don't state what you're feeling then s/he will never know. Your partner most likely doesn't know how to gauge what to do with what's not said, especially if you want something specific.
Say you want something in particular: birthday present, groceries, the laundry done, the child bathed, a meal cooked, etc. it's really not that difficult to say, "Honey, could you please...." Brain waves and internal thoughts can't travel person to person. However, this tactic of communicating doesn't guarantee your partner's answer to be "yes" all the time. Nor does it mean that s/he will forgive you, or also be angry, sad, upset, done or indifferent. Perhaps they're not an effective communicator.
It does guarantee, though, that your skills as a communicator will be empowered and more effective each time you use them. It would be great if/for your partner learned the skills also. By being as clear as you can be with your partner, you can resolve issues much faster and with greater ease. It isn't fair to expect them to be able to read your mind. Can you read theirs?
Additionally, you're doing yourself an injustice. Why would you want to stay in a state of unhappiness? The beginning steps to working through things/working toward happiness is by talking about issues, concerns, wants, desires, outlooks and so forth. Dont' be afraid to speak! Certainly shouting/yelling/raised voices nor reluctantly agreeing to everything is not the communication I speak of, but rather open, honest (equal share of talking and listening) and truthful communication is what you're aiming for.
If your partner pushes you to talk, when you need more time before you're ready, it's definitely okay to say: "I know you're ready to talk now but I need a little more time. Can we try later (or whenever the earliest time you can is)?" That way you're not brushing your partner off, you're letting them now you care but need a little longer before you are able to talk. If you're ready before your partner and they seem unable to open up, ask if they need time. Once you know how to be an effective communicator remember that your partner may not be and you should consider that when choosing what to say/how to react.
COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!!!
Take your time, don't speak when upset, but don't be afraid to speak about how you feel. Most people who want a relationship to work are open to discussing issues to work toward a happy future. There aren't enough mind reader's for everyone, so here's another way to still be content :)
Happy Loving!
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