Remember Yourself!

Before you had your partner, who did you have? Before you found your "other half," who was the "first half"? Before you cared for your lover, who did you care for?

YOURSELF!

Although you may enter a relationship with someone, you must not forget the relationship with yourself. Your happiness, your ability to enjoy life, your willingness to give, to love, to care for HAS to include yourself. Significant others are a wonderful asset to life. They could even make you feel as if everything in your existence has greatened or given you a sense of completion. However, the only person who can really know what makes you happy and keeps you sane is yourself.

When there are issues between the two of you, or you have a particular issue with your partner - remember to consider what will make them happy AS WELL AS what will make you happy. The best love feels like selfless love, yes...but when selflessness costs you your happiness, remind yourself that you deserve to have reasons to smile, be joyful and positive. Sometimes people get caught up in their love for their other half that they forget that they also count. When I speak of happiness, I do not speak of temporary happiness nor moment to moment happiness. I speak of 95% of the time happiness. It is improbable to be happy all of the time, but you should be the majority of the time - at least with yourself.

If you are currently upset with your partner and you have something you need to get across to them, don't put it under the rug. You are upset. You may be hurting. You need to make sure you are heard. The only way for your partner to change, or decide they cannot change (and may need to leave the relationship) is to talk about it. Staying happy means you need to maintain happiness - both with your partner AND IN YOURSELF!! There is no need to go charging at him or her and demand a change, but it is certainly fair for you to express yourself.

If you feel you are not able to live to your full potential because of your significant other, you should re-evaluate your goals and your relationship. Weigh out what makes you happiest. The relationship with yourself is just as important as the one you wish to hold with someone you also consider to be important. Stay true to who you are also goes with being in a relationship. When you close your eyes all you have is you, yourself and you - so if you aren't living the life that would make you happiest if your significant other weren't "holding you back" then you need to figure out how to do that (whether that means staying with your partner or not).

Compromise is a great way to work through issues of unhappiness. Once your partner knows what the problem is, then he or she has the opportunity to work through it with you. State what it is that you're feeling, why it is you've been feeling this way, and a suggestion as to how to make things better. Even if he or she doesn't agree, they are at least aware of what kind of suggestion you are making and what you boundaries are on changing/compromising.

Space is a great way to maintain happiness. You can love to be with your significant other, but there are going to be days where your agenda only fits you. It is also really healthy to love yourself on your own. Taking space doesn't mean having to remain in solitude. Catching up with friends, visiting family, etc. also fit in with that. If you live with your significant other, it is still possible to take space throughout the day - or even staying at a friends house (if children aren't involved - and if they are, you'll have to work out a schedule). But nurturing yourself is just as important as nurturing your partner (as is nurturing your children).

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So state when you're unhappy, provide potential compromises, take healthy self-time and remember that as much as your other deserves to be happy - you deserve it too!